名師點(diǎn)評(píng)EBC中級(jí)學(xué)生用書作文題(2)

　本期作文題目：
　　You are the manager of a small office. In order to reduce costs and improve the company's environmental practices, you have decided to collect and recycle all paper used in the office.
　　Write a memo of 40-50 words:
　　informing staff of the new policy.
　　explaining how the paper will be collected
　　requesting staff to co-operate with the scheme.
　　參考作文：
　　Sample 48 words
　　TO: All staff
　　From: Paul Blake
　　Please note that from next Monday we are introducing a environmentally friendly scheme. All used paper from the office will be recycled. Used sheets should be placed in the green bin next to the photocopier for collection. All staff ate asked for their full cooperation with this scheme.
　　網(wǎng)友作文一：
　　TO:All staff
　　FROM:Manager
　　RE:recycle paper policy
　　In order to reduce costs and improve our company's environmental practices,I decide to[1] collect and recycle all paper used in the office.you shoud place your paper in the green box near the fountain before 6 pm on friday,we will recycle them once a week.
　　Cooperate please[2].
　　修改：
　　[1]你不是公司的助理或者負(fù)責(zé)清潔的吧？怎么自己去collect paper? 改為：it is decided to ....
　　[2]這句話應(yīng)該放在上面一段的最尾。不是please, 而是we need your cooperation.
　　網(wǎng)友作文二：
　　To: All staff
　　From: Mr. Za
　　Here is the new policy aim to[1] reduction the costs[2] and improvement of the environmental practices of our company. Used paper in this office, on effect of this policy, should be collected by one appointed clerk each day for recycle use by selling them to recycle bin for a profit. [3] Please cooperate with this policy for our own good and each one will serve the duty in turn.[4]
　　Thank you
　　修改：
　　[1]結(jié)構(gòu)問題，后面應(yīng)該是分詞做定語(yǔ)或狀語(yǔ)，改為：aiming to
　　[2]反了，應(yīng)該是：cost reduction 另外，aim to 是個(gè)動(dòng)詞詞組，to 是介詞么？ 后面應(yīng)該是動(dòng)詞詞組。
　　[3]公司要靠賣廢品來取得利潤(rùn)么？這句話說得可是太掉價(jià)了。去掉吧。
　　[4]去掉。