2010年6月大學英語四級考試寫作思路突破(3)

　　寫作——寫作步驟核心指導
　　2009年12月四級作文真題
　　Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the topic of Creating A Green Campus.You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below:
　　1.建設綠色校園很重要
　　2.綠色校園不僅指綠色的環境……
　　3.為了建設綠色校園，我們應該……
　　(一)審題立意
　　1.首先審題目以及提綱，考生很容易判斷出這是問題解決類作文。
　　2.該作文體現出一種較新的命題方式，首先在題材上，依然是我們所熟悉的校園類話題，同時兼顧社會的熱點：環保問題，這也與社會的大背景有關系，剛剛閉幕的哥本哈根世界氣候大會也同時關注環保減排這個主題，因此我們的作文也與社會熱點有很大的關系。分析題目Green “綠色”和Campus “校園”是本作文的關鍵詞�？忌鷳�該考慮綠色校園具體是什么含義。重點應放在綠色校園的含義以及我們應該采取的措施上�？季硪呀浟谐隽颂峋V，這是對“三段式”提綱類作文寫作結構的考查。
　　(二)草擬提綱
　　段落一闡述問題段①開門見山，綠色校園引發人們關注;②建立綠色校園對自己、他人及社會都有重要影響。
　　段落二說明原因段①綠色校園具有兩層含義;②綠色，無污染;③人文精神、文明建設、人文關懷、和諧。
　　段落三解決方法段①為了建設綠色校園，個人、學校、政府和社會各界應該采取哪些措施;②對未來的展望。
　　根據以上構思，寫作提綱如下：
　　Creating A Green Campus
　　What’s a green campus and how to creat a green campus?
　　Creating A Green Campus
　　I.Nowadays the topic of a green campus has aroused public attention.
　　1.It is of vital importance to the students
　　2.It has a profound impact on society
　　II.The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.
　　1.green environment preservation and protection
　　2.a civilized atmosphere for students’ mental health
　　III.It is imperative for us to take effective measures to creat a green campus.
　　1.The law and regulations should be worked out
　　2.Enhanced the awareness of the students themselves
　　(三)落筆寫作
　　1.闡述問題段 根據題目中的提綱，首先強調建立綠色校園的重要性，最好在此句之前做一個鋪墊，介紹建立綠色校園受到人們廣泛關注這一背景信息，即the topic of a green campus has aroused public attention.
　　常見問題：用詞匱乏。如：“很重要” important。
　　使用對策：使用精彩替換詞。如：the indispensable part for, has a profound impact on, significance等。
　　2.說明原因段 對綠色校園的兩方面含義進行論述。另外在展開論證過程中，抽象句子要舉例說明，如：such as planting more trees and flowers, for example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams，這些具體信息使文章更生動，容易理解。
　　常見問題：結構不清，缺乏層次感。
　　使用對策：要注意各個理由之間的邏輯關系，適當地運用表示層次關系的詞語，如：to begin with, in addition to; furthermore/not only … but also …/ what’s more; for example/for instance/such as; in other words/ in particular等。
　　本文的說明原因段可分為如下三個層次進行論證：
　　①開門見山：首先對“綠色校園”在下文要涉及的內容進行總體概括：The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.
　�、谡�面論證：說明“綠色校園”的第一層含義，也就是我們最熟知的一層含義，即campus construction refers to green environment preservation and protection。然后舉例進一步解釋此含義，并強調其重要性：which makes campus an ecological and natural resort.在這個過程中考生要注意亮點詞匯以及句型的使用。
　　③反面論證：使用in addition to引出“綠色校園”的第二層含義，即create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of students’ mental health.然后舉例進一步解釋此含義。如：For example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
　　3.解決方法段 鑒于“綠色校園”的重要性，說明采取措施的必要性，如：To bring “green campus” to its full play, effective measures should be taken.
　　常見問題：用語過于直白或極端。如：We must…/ We should…等。
　　使用對策：要站在中庸的立場上，客觀地提出建議，可使用一些表示客觀立場的詞語，如：It is essential that …; Only by the co�瞖fforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly.這樣使自己的觀點表達得既委婉又客觀。
　　Creating A Green Campus
　　Nowadays the topic of a green campus has been widely debated which has aroused public attention.Undoubtedly, a green campus, the indispensable part for the development of college students, has a profound impact on both individuals and society, for its significance cannot be denied.
　　The idea of “a green campus” is beyond a green environment.To begin with, campus construction refers to green environment preservation and protection, such as planting more trees and flowers, which makes campus an ecological and natural resort, and advocating green products.For example, students are encouraged to avoid using disposable plastic containers in campus dining hall and recycle wasted batteries and other electrical products properly.In addition to the environmentally friendly practice, we shall make every effort to improve the moral standard and ethical level of university students in order to create a civilized atmosphere for the sake of students’ mental health.For example, students will be severely punished in case of cheating in exams and plagiarizing in academic papers.
　　To bring “green campus” to its full play, effective measures should be taken.First, based on its education function, campus should bring the theory of “sustainable development” into classrooms, set environmental management rules and conduct environmental education activities.Second, it is essential that law and regulations be worked out and enforced by the government and school authorities.Only by the co-efforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly and bring benefit to people’s well-beings.
　　(四)修改潤色
　　作文基本完成以后，主要有以下兩項任務：
　　1.檢查
　　檢查是否包含考卷提綱列出的所有信息;各段落銜接是否連貫，使用In the first place, Furthermore, On the one hand， For instance， On the other hand等詞可以達到這種效果;語法上單詞拼寫上是否有誤，如較長單詞indispensable，environmentally friendly，preservation，plagiarizing等，以及短語has a profound impact on，disposable plastic containers，in case of，bring …to its full play, bring benefit to以及最后一段中虛擬語氣、倒裝句使用是否正確。避免使用“漢語式英語”;檢查文章標點符號是否正確。
　　2.潤色
　　例如：Only by the co�瞖fforts of the whole society could “green campus” work smoothly and bring benefit to people’s well�瞓eings中使用倒裝句的結構，凸顯考生的語法功底。