同等學力英語作文批改：第9期

　　同等學力英語作文原文：

　　My View on Reform of Medical Care in China

　　There is no denying the fact that high cost of medicines and medical treatment with hardly are serious problems in China is confronted. In many places, seeing a doctor is very difficult for people because the medicines fee is expensive.
    
　　A number of factors account for the problem, but the following are the most critical ones. In the first place, medical and health resources are insufficient in China. The poverty region has only a few hospitals can not reach people’s needs. In the second place, many people can not afford to medical fee because China’s medical insurance lever is too low.
    
　　In my opinion, the government must attach great importance to developing reform of medical care. First, it is essential that pertinent laws and regulations be worked out and enforced to ban medical treatment with excessive. For example, a person catching a cold, the American doctors will not prescribe the medicine, but many the Chinese doctors will open much fee of medicine. Secondly, the government should increase the number of health resources to accelerate the personnel training that narrow the gap between urban and rural

　　老師評語：得分7-9分

　　該文的結構比較清晰，主題的闡釋也較為明了。可以比較正確的使用經典句型。

　　缺點是：

　　1. 對句子結構掌握的不是很好。

　　2. 有部分詞匯誤用、搭配不合理等現象。

　　3. 內容不夠充實。

　　總體上說，你需要補充一些句法以及詞語使用的知識，并且多看一些范文，學習論點闡釋的方法。希望你再接再厲！