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I “Heard” the Love When I was growing up I do not recall hearing the words “I love you” from my father. When your father never says them to you when you are a child, it gets tougher and tougher for him to say those words as he gets older. To tell the truth, I could not honestly remember when I had last said those words to him either. I decided to set my ego aside and make the first move. After some hesitation, in our next phone conversation I blurted out the words, “Dad… I love you!” There was a silence at the other end and he awkwardly replied, “Well, same back at ya!” I chuckled and said, “Dad, I know you love me, and when you are ready, I know you will say what you want to say.” Fifteen minutes later my mother called and nervously asked, “Paul, is everything okay?” A few weeks later, Dad concluded our phone conversation with the words, “Paul, I love you.” I was at work during this conversation and the tears were rolling down my cheeks as I finally “heard” the love. As we both sat there in tears we realized that this special moment had taken our father/son relationship to a new level. A short while after this special moment, my father narrowly escaped death following heart surgery. Many times since, I have pondered the thought, if I did not take the first step and Dad did not survive the surgery, I would have never “heard” the love. 隨著我逐漸長大,我不記得爸爸對我說過“我愛你”。如果從孩提時候起,爸爸就從來沒對你說過“我愛你”,那么隨著他年齡的增長,就會愈來愈難張口。實話說吧,我也實在記不起來上次什么時候對他說過那些話。我決定放開自尊,采取主動。猶豫了一陣后,在下次打電話時我突然說出了這些話:“爸爸……我愛你!” 電話的那端沉默了一陣,然后他有些害羞地說:“呃,我也愛你!” 我輕聲地笑了起來,說:“爸爸,我知道你愛我,我知道當你準備好時,你就會把想說的話告訴我。” 一刻鐘后,媽媽打電話過來,有些緊張地問:“保羅,一切都好嗎?” 幾個星期過后,爸爸在掛電話前說了句“保羅,我愛你。”打電話的時候我還在上班,在終于“聽”到愛的聲音后,我的淚水順著臉頰流了下來。由于我們兩人都坐在那兒淚流滿面,我們知道這特別的時刻使我們的父子關系達到一種新境界。 這個特別時刻剛過不久,爸爸就進行了心臟手術,不過幸免于難。從那以后,我時常仔細回味,如果我沒有走出第一步,如果爸爸的手術沒有成功,我就再沒有機會聽到愛的聲音了。 |
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