You must have been troubled by when to say "I love you" because it is one of me greatest puzzles in our life.
What if you say it fast and your partner doesn' t love you back? Or if they do say it but you don't feel they mean it? Being the first to declare your love can be nerve-racking(緊張) and risky and can leave you feeling as vulnerable as a turtle with no shell. But is the person who says it first really in a position of weakness? Doesn't it pay to hold back, play it cool and wait until the other half has shown their hand first?
"A really good relationship should be about being fair and being equal," says psychologist Sidney Crown. "But love is seldom equal. " All relationships go through power struggles but, he says, if a love imbalance continues for years, the rot will set in. "That feeling of I' ve always loved you more' may be subverted(顛覆，破壞) for a time, but it never goes away completely and it often emerges in squabbling(大聲爭(zhēng)吵). " In love, at least, the silent, withholding type is not always the most powerful. "The strongest one in a relationship is often .the person who feels confident enough to talk about their feelings," says educational psychologist Ingrid Collins. Psychosexual therapist Paula Hall agrees. "The one with the upper hand is often the person who takes the initiative. In fact, the person who says ' I love you' first may also be the one who says ' I' m bored with you' first. " Hall believes that much depends on how "I love you" is said and the motivation of the person saying it."Is it said when they' re drunk? Is it said before their partner flies off on holiday, and what it really means is ' Please don' t be unfaithful to me' ? By saying. ' I love you', they really saying' Do you love me?' If so, wouldn't it just be more honest to say that?" Collins agrees that intention is every- thing. "It' s not what is said, but how it' s said. What it comes down to is the sincerity of the speaker ".
51. What is the main idea of this passage?
A．The importance of "I love you".
B．The meaning of "I love you".
C．The time of saying "I love you".
D．The place of saying "I love you".
52. In the first sentence the author means that ____.
A．it is easy to say "I love you"
B．it is hard to say "I love you"
C．we have many troubles in our life
D．people usually do not know when to say "I love you"
53. According to the expert, a good relationship should be
A．fair and equal
B．fair and kind
C．powerful and equal
D．confident and fair
54. In the third paragraph, the phrase "with the upper hand" means
A．being low in spirit
B．having only one hand
C．being active
D．being passive
55. What is the most important for you to consider when somebody say "I love you" to you?
A．The intention.
B．The place.
C．The time.
D．The determination.
參考譯文
你一定曾經(jīng)為何時(shí)說“我愛你”而煩惱過，因?yàn)檫@是我們生活中的一大難題。
如果你先說“我愛你”而對(duì)方卻不回應(yīng)，或者對(duì)方也這么說但你覺得他或她并非當(dāng)真，那該怎么辦?如你先說愛一個(gè)人，會(huì)讓人緊張，而且也很冒險(xiǎn)，它會(huì)讓你覺得像沒了硬殼的海龜那樣容易受到傷害。但先說出口的人真的是處于劣勢(shì)嗎?隱而不宣，冷靜地等待，讓對(duì)方采取主動(dòng)會(huì)更好嗎?
“真正良好的兩性關(guān)系應(yīng)該是合理平等的”，心理學(xué)家悉德尼•克朗說，“但愛情很少是平等的。”所有的兩性關(guān)系都會(huì)有權(quán)力的斗爭(zhēng)，但是，他說，如果愛情失去平衡，那么數(shù)年之后就會(huì)開始出現(xiàn)問題。“‘我對(duì)你的愛更多’的情況暫時(shí)不再繼續(xù)．但這種感覺卻不會(huì)消失，且常常會(huì)在爭(zhēng)吵中出現(xiàn)。”至少在愛情上，沉默含蓄的那種類型并不總是最強(qiáng)有力的。“兩性關(guān)系中最強(qiáng)大的一方常常是感覺自信能說出自己的感受的人。”教育心理學(xué)家因格瑞•柯林斯說。性心理治療學(xué)家波拉•霍爾贊同說，“占上風(fēng)的常常是采取主動(dòng)的人。實(shí)際上，先說‘我愛你’的人往往也是先說‘我討厭你’的人。”霍爾認(rèn)為，很大程度上取決于說“我愛你”的方式和說話人的動(dòng)機(jī)。“他們是在喝醉時(shí)說的嗎?是在對(duì)方乘飛機(jī)度假前說的嗎?而其真正的含義是‘請(qǐng)一定要對(duì)我忠誠(chéng)’?是不是表面上說：‘我愛你’，而真正想說的卻是‘你愛我嗎?’如果這樣，直截了當(dāng)?shù)卣f不是更誠(chéng)實(shí)嗎?”考林也認(rèn)為你的動(dòng)機(jī)決定一切。“重要的不在于說話內(nèi)容而在于說話的方式。歸根到底是說話人的真誠(chéng)。” |
