同等學(xué)力英語作文批改：第112期

　　同等學(xué)力英語作文原文

　　Today, the high expenses of medicne and difficulty to see a doctor more and more affect our life, and they begin to become an important social problem in our  country. Many people usually complain about a same thing that they must spends much money when go to hospital every time or it is too difficult to see a doctor.

　　What cause the problem? Firstly, many medical ways are not better in the Reform Medical Care, such as, many hospitals not only give medical advice, but also run the business of medicine. It is way which bring about rise in the medicine price. Secondly, many ill people like to go to see big hospital for a cold.

　　In my view, If we want to solve many problem in the Reform Medical Care in our country, we should bread the connection between seeing doctor and the price of medicine in hospital. At same time, we should put many better doctors and medical tools into small hospitals, and advance their medical technology level. 

　　評語：8分。
    
　　文章能基本完成題目要求，思路較為清晰，結(jié)構(gòu)較為合理。但是表達(dá)不夠流暢，有的句子不夠通順，語法錯誤較多，此外還有個別單詞拼寫錯誤。中間主體部分的內(nèi)容較為單薄，論證不夠充分詳細(xì)。希望以后多讀優(yōu)秀范文，學(xué)習(xí)更好的整體布局和語言組織方式，另外寫作中要仔細(xì)，避免不必要的語法詞匯等錯誤。