同等學力英語作文批改：第91期

　　同等學力英語作文原文

　　My View on Reform of Medical Care in China

　　There is no denying the fact that reform of medical care is a hotly debated topic in China today. It has become a gravy problem with which our country is confronted. High medical cost and difficult to see a doctor is a common phenomenon. Taking a lookaround,we can find examples too much to list. In many places we can see or listen these news about no enough to get tretment reported.

　　A number of factors can cause this problem, but the following are the most criticalones. First, due to economic factor, some people did not cure light diease,so delayed to a serious illness. Secondly, some hospitals improved price of medicines and treatment in order to surveve. Finally, others see a doctor to major hospital regardless degree of seriousness ,resulting in a waste of medical resources.

　　In view of seriousness of the problem, I believe that reform of medical must be taken before things get worse. On the one hand, it is essential that laws and regulations be formulated and enforced to limit price of medicines and treatment. On the another hand , integration of health care resources to berrer services for the human. With these measures taken ,it is reasonable for us to expect a brighter future.

　　點評：8-9分

　　文章的大方向可以把握，但是需要指出的是一看段和第三段就屬于模板的東西，第二段才是你自己的想法，明顯第二段和前后的質量不一樣，導致老師產生懷疑。所以說寫作的時候一定要把模板變成自己的東西，文章自始至終要前后一致。另外注意拼寫錯誤和語法細節。加油啊。多看看范文，除了段和第三段的模板外，多看看中間的原因或是陳述等是怎么寫的。