同等學(xué)力英語作文批改：第84期

　　同等學(xué)力英語作文原文

　　It is no denying the fact that there is an increasing number of population in the big city in China.  A lot of young men are in favor of living in the big city for the city’s activity, as a result, a great amount of social problems turn up.

　　These problems are harmful in many ways. In the first place, people might unhappy and become anxious. For instance, people’s living conditions are worse because they aren’t able to pay for the apartment. The price of apartment is rising and the job is high-pressure. Peoples are depression. In the second place, the heavy traffic becomes a important problem. Private cars are increasing while the city extends larger lead that peoples go out by transports. Last but not least, the burden of cities is becoming heavier and heavier.

　　In view of the seriousness of these problems, effective measure must be taken before things get worse. First, the government should encourage young people to work in smaller cities. Big cities have benefit sources but smaller cities may be fit for living. Secondly the public should enhance their awareness of problems in big cities. Thirdly the department concerned takes measures to construct little town well. With these measures taken, it is reasonable for us to believe that problems will be solved in the near future.

　　點(diǎn)評：9分

　　文章結(jié)構(gòu)基本符合題目要求，內(nèi)容基本完整，只是由于文中有一些表達(dá)不清楚和語言欠妥當(dāng)?shù)牡胤剑�加之語法錯誤，導(dǎo)致分?jǐn)?shù)下降，今后一定要多看看范文，學(xué)習(xí)語言表達(dá)的技巧。

　　注意文章前后要一致，文章的第三段感覺很不錯，但是第二段在表達(dá)方面就有很多問題，會閱卷老師產(chǎn)生懷疑。要注意啊。加油。