托福寫作高分技巧 專家教你十大高分妙招（一）

    1.Original: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and help you to understand other people’s feelings and learn to be kind.

    Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other people’s feelings and learn to be considerate.

    亮點評析

    add，kind表達的含義都比較寬泛。add可以指數量上的增加，也可以指程度的加強，對于“豐富經驗、增加知識”這個意思，用enrich會使表達更準確。kind從字面意義上講是“好的、善良的”，用kind來形容人無法具體地表現出一個人的性格特征到底怎樣，原句中是想表達“考慮周到、體貼入微”的特點，要準確表達這個含義應選擇considerate。

    2.Original: Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.

    Revised: Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.

    亮點評析

    greatly，rapidly屬于常用詞，表示程度高、速度快，這樣的詞在表達效果上不夠具體，缺乏說服力，在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具體生動地表現出科技的影響力到底有多大，其影響力已滲透到我們生活的方方面面，at a speed which is quite unprecedented意為“以一種前所未有的速度”，形象地道出了變化速度之快。

    3.Original: Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interesting as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to common everyday life.

    Revised: Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to tedious everyday life.

    亮點評析

    nice，interesting，common都屬于普通詞匯，用到句子中也顯得平淡蒼白。nice的意思是“好的，令人愉快的”，interesting是“有趣的”，這兩個詞都不能準確地描繪出年輕人所憧憬的美好生活，句中想表達的是年輕人認為生活如同小說、電影一般充滿戲劇變化，激動人心，要體現這層含義應該用dramatic，fascinating。dramatic表示“刺激的，戲劇性的，給人深刻印象的”，fascinating表示“具有強烈吸引力的，迷人的，使人神魂顛倒的”，這兩個詞的程度要比nice，interesting深得多，表現力也更強。原句用common表達實際的現實生活的枯燥無味是不準確的，common的意思是“普通的，平常的”，普通平常的東西不一定是枯燥的，tedious是表示“(因過長、過慢或單調)令人厭倦的，煩人的”，恰好傳達出現實生活由于瑣碎和重復而變得索然無味這種含義。

    4.Original: You should compete to live in this society.

    Revised: You should compete for survival; otherwise, you will be thrown out of the tide of society.

    亮點評析

    原句平平淡淡，只是告訴人們要在社會立足，必須競爭，但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力，修改后的句子用了compete for survival，為了生存而競爭，而且后面又添加了一個并列分句，補充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society，被社會的浪潮所淘汰，使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現出競爭的慘烈。

     5.Original: I really believe that smoking is harmful to people’s health.

    Revised: I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to people’s health.

    亮點評析

    conviction的意思是“堅定的看法或信仰”，have a profound conclusion表示對某種看法深信不疑，作文中提出觀點的句子用have a profound conclusion會比用believe態度更堅決，立場更鮮明，而且believe這個詞非常簡單，是英語初學者就應掌握的詞匯，換成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復雜程度，體現了較強的語言運用能力。類似的提出觀點的表達還有：

    I hold a point of view that…

    I hold the opinion that…